With Valentine's Day approaching, I've realized that I've reached that point in my dating life where I might have to build a man if I want to be happy.
Technology is improving everyday so, it's not completely out of the question.
Dating sucks in general, but dating in a pandemic is for the birds. There is no effort, no consistency. You give them the blueprint because who wants to waste time and yet and still they don't read it.
- Maybe the problem is Chicago men, (although Detroit and Boston are putting out some trash exports too 😆) and I have been told I am not the typical Chicago girl.
- Maybe the problem is I refuse to date outside my race anymore. I did! In another lifetime, I dated the United Nations but I felt most comfortable with those who look like me. Maybe that's the problem because more than one Black man has told me I seem like the type of girl that would marry a white guy.
If I could build him he would have/be ....
An Amazing Attention to Detail like Camron. That man would go above and beyond. He gave experiences not trips or gifts. My wildest memory sitting front row at Cirque du Soleil for my birthday because I loved them. He is what sparked my love of black men.
A Calm and Consistent Demeanor like KC and the Sunshine Band. We never argued until it was over. He was so even keeled it was ridiculous. He was never late and never spoke an unkind word. His calm nature made me calm. There was no gaslighting or intimidation. I want that type of peace in my ideal relationship.
My best friend and have my back like Justin Timberlake. If I was going through something, he was so quick to try to solve the problem. I never felt like I was in the relationship by myself. If he had it, I got it, and if I had it, he got it. He meant what he said and said what he meant, I respect that.
An Amazing Conversationalist like Killah Priest. I could just talk to him for hours. He wanted to know about my day to the most minute detail and would know, understand, and remember every detail. I want someone who wants to get to know me.
A Sexual Deviant like MC Hammer. He was down to explore any and everything. Relationships get boring, so a partner that is ready and willing to explore all of your deepest fantasies is dope.
An Unending Love like Kendrick Lamar. Despite the ups and downs and inconsistencies in this relationship. I know for a fact that he loved me and still does.
An innate ability to set up Surprises like Akon and Ace-Hood. The A-team was on it with just taking me out because they felt I deserved a good time, even if the dates weren't the best I appreciated the effort.
Super Supportive and a Hard Worker like Easy-E. When were was applying to grad school, he would set up GRE study dates. He wanted me to achieve my dreams and I helped him achieve his. A partner that that pushes you to be better.
Street Smarts like Fabolous. He made sure I was always safe. If I was out at night, or coming home late, he would be out front waiting or have some friends waiting. I always made it home safe.
I have dated two good on paper dudes, Master P and Rakim, they were good looking, educated, decent jobs, but they were inconsistent jackasses. What is in person never equals what on the paper. I want someone who is their resume. If they are an intellectual be that. If they are handy, be that. I just want him to actually be what he says he is, and stand by it.
A sweet heart like Dead Prez. He was always there. If it was a taco run for a bad day or to stay over because my dumbass decided to watch a scary movie and now need company. If it was to prank call exes who wouldn't leave me alone or just take me for a walk and ice cream in silence on those days when it was all too much. He was a total sweet heart... I want someone who is just genuinely nice.
Lastly, a little sprinkle of cockiness like Slick Rick. I like for my man to know he has my undivided attention
With all these good qualities, I need to make sure their flaws are left out:
Let him not be inconsistent
Let him be prompt and on time
Let him not be cheater
I don't need another narcissist.
Let him know I don't share my friends, roommates, siblings, or food for that matter
Let him not go MIA at the most inopportune times
Let him keep his hands to himself, and if he swings let Jesus be a brick
Let him actually like sex with women
Let him actually like women (cause most like sleeping with women but don't actually like us)
Let him be sober, cause if my mouthwash goes missing...
Let him not be a gaslighting narcissistic egomaniac with a secret family (sorry that was oddly specific)
Let him be not intimidated by my success
Also, let him love to deal with my spoiled ass. I want what I want when I want it. I shop too much. I have a smart mouth. I don't always comb my hair. I wheeze and snore when I sleep. I'm arrogant. I get depressed and it is really hard to snap me out of it. I will make fun of you every chance I get. I like really nice things and nice places, and will turn up my nose if I don't like it.
I mean... I know I am a lot.
I am also sweet, loving, and would give you the shirt off my back. I am determined, a leader, hardworking, thoughtful, optimisitc, a planner, intelligent, ridiculously communicative, and usually only mean when I haven't eaten (however if you start an argument with me, God help you, because I don't start them but I will finish them) lol
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