DC

 Wow and just like that 1 year has passed. I moved to DC at the top of 2022 and I hit the ground running.

I went out on so many dates to learn the neighborhoods, I found an apartment I loved, I spent time curating furniture so I could make my space my own, I traveled more than I have my entire life. I was enjoying being in this new space and I talked to new people every day. Even managed to make a few new friends and in that I thought I found the one.

He was a lot younger but he was different. Smart, sweet, he listened, Ridiculously handsome, kind, he handled me with kid gloves and I loved that. He was patient with me and did all the small things. I always had flowers, my favorite candy, someone who was always willing to go for a walk when I had a frustrating day. He made all the other dates I had been on seem frivolous.

Our first date we went to dive bar. We had PBRs and chatted about life. We had so much in common it felt like I had met him before. We stayed up all night chatting and he helped me assemble some bookshelves for my new place. The next night we went to a comedy show and had some soul food and I became smitten. About two weeks in he asked me to be his wife and my crazy self said yes. I soon, brought him back to earth and we agreed to postpone the wedding for a year to really get to know one another. 

I just had this really good feeling. About a month in he wanted me to meet a good friend of his. I obliged and she was wonderful. I asked her to be honest with me about him, she said he’s wonderful, honestly, the sweetest kindest human except when he drinks. He’s another person, if you can deal with that then there won’t be any issues. I asked him about it and he assured me those were his college years and I had nothing to worry about yet, that night it happened.

He proceeded to get drunk, and he started to berate me and when I tell you Dr Jerkyl and Mr Hyde. Well I met Jerkyl and I hopped that was our first and last introduction. Sadly it wasn’t. This went on for months, when he was sober he was outstanding but when he had one too many I would meet Mr Hyde again. 

He lost his job and soon, all I saw was Mr. Hyde. Everyday I was being berated and talked down to daily.  He was eating all the groceries with little regard for me. It was just a never ending nightmare. A short while later  pulled the plug when my wallet went missing during a drunken bender and he told me it was my fault for just not giving it to him when he wanted it. I know I know, how stupid could I be but I loved him.  I knew how great he was when we started so I broke it off but remained friends. I hoped that with some distance he could see, he would see, he would understand how he was changing for the worst and maybe just maybe he would turn it all around. However after the last bender he followed it up with a showcase where he wandered the streets of DC cursed out my concierge and got banned from my apartment building for drunk and disorderly conduct. 

A week after this last incident, he put his butt in gear and he found a job. He was working and I thought things were on the up. He was apologetic. He repurchased all my wine bottles he had stolen. Paid back the some of the money he had taken. Replaced some of the groceries he had eaten. However the good deeds didn’t last when went out of the country.  He decided to get drunk and invite people in the building into my home. I was disappointed. I distanced myself and I felt bad about it. But I had to do what was best for me. I still spoke to him but I refused to see him for a while, well what seemed like a while but was only a few weeks. I started to miss him. I decided last weekend that I would invite him over and he showed up 2.5 hours late and drunk. Let’s just say the night didn’t end how I planned. I ended up in the lobby holding a cold compress while the concierge called the cops. My face unrecognizable. 

I sit here contemplating as my injuries heal. I know what I did. I know where I went wrong. I know exactly how I ended up here. I am taking it day by day. Part of me wants to say this was a one off, this would never happen to me, and this most definitely would never happen again but as I look at my blood shot eyes and busted lip in the mirror, I think… well I’ll know better next time, at least I hope so. This begs the question, will I ever fund a love that doesn’t hurt? 

Be careful of the people you give your energy to, they say they love you but they just turn around and hurt you.